Boundaries Help You Define Your Relationships

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We are social creatures and our boundaries tell others what we think is okay for us and what is not okay.
They help us know who we are.

They also help us form authentic relationships with other people, as defining what makes us happy and what doesn’t, increases understanding.

We cannot set boundaries for other people, only for ourselves.

Without boundaries, chaos prevails.

Tom Whitehead from The Hakomi Institute says that if someone steps over the line, we may not be able to see the line but we can feel it or sense it.

Our boundaries aren’t static but change along with us. Boundaries protect us from things that feel bad for us. They push us to seek out people who support us.

Some people may disagree with your boundaries but only you can decide what your needs are.  Your boundaries help you get your needs met so you can live in harmony instead of chaos.

photo Waves, by Jakob Owens /unsplash

#boundaries #relationships #knowyourself #authentic #happiness

Resting Prevents Disease

Resting Prevents Disease

We feel as if we should always be busy doing something so we don’t get labelled as lazy. But resting is the exact thing you need to do in order to have a burst of energy and keep your motor running.

This past weekend I went to float in the mineral pools at the hot springs with some extended family members and it had a restorative effect on me.

Rest is a needed reset that prevents exhaustion and burnout and brings your energy back into balance,

Sometimes we feel mentally exhausted too. Our minds fight against what is and this causes us stress as we wish things were the way we would like them to be.

Rest, or Ease, prevents Dis-ease.

When we rest we feel as if we are at peace within ourselves which makes it easier to deal with whatever is happening outside of ourselves.

My Mentoresses

My Mentoresses - Ariana Huffington

TORONTO, ON – APRIL 21: Arianna Huffington signs her new book ‘Thrive’ at Indigo Manulife Centre on April 21, 2014 in Toronto, Canada. (Photo by George Pimentel/WireImage)

My Mentoresses

Say what you want about the tactics of Ariana Huffington, she is one of my mentoresses.

One of the most influential women in the media, she launched The Huffington Post, one of the most popular websites on the internet, She transformed journalism into engaging, personality driven entertainment. She was guilty of playing favorites with people like the exiled Dalai Lama, but to be fair all human news-moguls likely had a code that protected their friends in the pre-internet age as well.

Leadership is tough for everyone, and she is one tough female cookie, who has been burned many times.

She is now 66 years old and makes me forget about the worship of youth in our culture, as she rocks her age and combines it with the eye of experience.

She gives me hope to carry on with blogging and writing at age 55.

After resigning from The Huffington Post, she heads Thrive Global, a wellness media company focusing on helping people get enough sleep, and sells pillows with the quote: “sleep your way to the top”.

I admire Ariana’s style the most. Mixing the vulnerability of being a woman and a mother, with being a warrior in the competitive ring with the big boys takes balls.

Her curiosity helps her grow, and her determination to turn her failures into a part of her future success is why she continues to thrive.

Some of her quotes resonate with me and likely the other 50 percent of the female population that she speaks to:

“Fearlessness is like a muscle. I know from my own life that the more I exercise it the more natural it becomes to not let my fears run me.”

“Trying to be Supermom is as futile as trying to be Perfect Mom. Not going to happen.”

“I think while all mothers deal with feelings of guilt, working mothers are plagued by guilt on steroids!”

Thanks for reading!

Ann Hoy

The Blissfully Uniting Power

The Unifying Bliss

Dmitry Kotov photo

I was feeling out of shape, and my sister is in good shape, so I called her to ask if she wanted to take a fitness class or dance class with me.  With our busy lives it’s hard to connect , so scheduling an activity would help us stay in shape and stay in touch.

She suggested yoga so we went for a free trial class and it was great.  The knowledgeable teacher let us go at our own pace, misted us with refreshing essential oil spray at the end if we agreed, and hugged us on our way out.  Then my sister suggested we go to Starbucks afterwards for a chat.  Who could disagree with that?

I find that doing a physical activity together with friends and loved ones is the best way to engage with them.

It activates your bodies and minds, and with yoga, it extends to activating your spirits. Long after you do the activity together, you associate that person with pleasant feelings of health and relaxation and connection.

The unifying yoga session connected us to our own bodies, to each other, to the other students and to the teacher.

It was like a mini holiday in the morning that left us with a blissful feeling of celebrating being human and living in this amazing body and world.

I wrote this bio for the teacher and they put it up on their website:


Rachel’s yoga practice takes students on a journey to the strength and intelligence that is hidden deep within them.


During her guided yoga poses, students feel their minds clearing and their bodies relaxing


She helps students listen to their bodies and thank their bodies for all the wonderful things they do for them each day.


By her concluding “Namaste”, students have gone beyond body and mind, and feel a spiritual connection, and a lightness that frees them from the weight of the outside world.




Ann Hoy