Boundaries Help You Define Your Relationships

Image may contain: outdoor, water and nature


We are social creatures and our boundaries tell others what we think is okay for us and what is not okay.
They help us know who we are.

They also help us form authentic relationships with other people, as defining what makes us happy and what doesn’t, increases understanding.

We cannot set boundaries for other people, only for ourselves.

Without boundaries, chaos prevails.

Tom Whitehead from The Hakomi Institute says that if someone steps over the line, we may not be able to see the line but we can feel it or sense it.

Our boundaries aren’t static but change along with us. Boundaries protect us from things that feel bad for us. They push us to seek out people who support us.

Some people may disagree with your boundaries but only you can decide what your needs are.  Your boundaries help you get your needs met so you can live in harmony instead of chaos.

photo Waves, by Jakob Owens /unsplash

#boundaries #relationships #knowyourself #authentic #happiness

Review of Week 51 – Optimizing Yourself – Go On a Journey To The Spirit

My journey to authentic power of the spirit began this week when I was about to get in my van one morning, and discovered that I had a flat tire.  I felt anxious when I discovered the tire, and began to think about how I could manipulate events and people to get the tire fixed.  But I knew this was using external power, and I don’t make good decisions out of fear.  So I summoned my inner calm, or authentic power, and formed a plan to get the tire fixed.

I thought about filling it with air, and seeing if it would hold the air so I could drive it to a repair shop, or asking my neighbour to help me jack up the van and remove the tire.  But since it was snowing outside, and cold and wet on the ground, and getting dark, we would have to work outside in harsh conditions.

So I decided to leave the tire repair until the following day.  By being patient, I was able to act with love for myself and others.

My son arrived home a few hours later, and said he was off work the next day, and we could remove the tire and get it repaired at the tire shop.  We dropped off the tire the next day at the shop, and went for breakfast while they repaired it.  Using the authentic power of patience and compassion made the tire repair easy, and we made it fun too, because we had a nice conversation over a meal of spinach salad and eggs while it was being repaired.

Week 51 – 0ptimizing Yourself – Dec 9-15, 2013 – Go On A Journey To The Spirit

Journey to the spirit

Journey to the spirit

For this week’s optimizing yourself exercise, I am going to go on a journey to the spirit.  Since the human spirit is full of goodness, I am going to listen to my spirit this week so my decisions will be influenced by love instead of fear.

In In Gary Zukav’s book, “The Seat of The Soul” he describes a shift from pursuing external power to pursuing authentic power, based on the values of the spirit, such as reverence, compassion, and trust. External power is based on the five senses, and includes using manipulation and control which has caused conflict and destruction.

I am going to practice Gary’s philosophy  of pursuing authentic power this week, and I will let you know how it goes next week.

photo credit: photo pin