Hillarious Letter from an Irish Mom

Hillarious Irish Mom's Letter

An Irish Mom’s Humor

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing this slowly because I know that you can’t read very fast. You won’t know the house when you come home. We’ve moved.

About your father, he has got a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He cuts grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out yet if it’s a boy or a girl, so I don’t know if your an aunt or an uncle.

I went to the doctors on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

Your uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of Irish whiskey at the Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took 3 days to put the fire out.

It only rained twice this week, first for 3 days and then for 4 days.

We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother’s plot wasn’t paid in 7 days, up she comes.

Your loving Mother, P.S. I was going to send you 5 pounds, but I have already sealed the envelope.”

 

 

courtesy of irishcentral.com

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/trilliumdesign/8034450098/”>Trilliumdesign ~ Caroline</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a>

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day

Happy

Happy St Patrick’s Day – Niagra Falls

Niagara Falls on both the Canadian and American sides will be flooded in green lights for Tourism Irelands’ “Saint Patrick’s Day Global Greening Campaign” this year. It is a way to say, ‘One Hundred Thousand Welcomes’, or C’ead Mile Failte, to all the Irish who have emigrated to Canada and the United States over the years, and to attract travellers and investors to Ireland.

In all, sixty nine famous locations and monuments in twenty countries around the globe will be lit in green lights to celebrate Irish friendship everywhere and to lure travellers to visit and invest in Ireland.

A few other notable locations getting the green light are: The Taj Mahal in India, Trump tower in Chicago, Disneyland Paris, The Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy, and the Empire State Building in New York. UNESCO World Heritage site Petra, in Jordan, and Sleeping Beauty’s Castle in Disneyland. The London Eye, the welcome sign in Las Vegas and the Prince’s Palace in Monaco.

HNEWS@HERALD.IE
Photo handout by Tourism Ireland