Pump Your Own Tires – Crossing the Bridge to Loving Yourself

Pump Your Own Tires

3D book cover

*****Thank You to my blog readers for all your support along my writing journey.  Reading my posts and subscribing to my blog gave me the encouragement I needed to realize a long held dream – writing a book. Knowing that you are enjoying the blog posts is important, and I hope you will also enjoy my first book which is coming out soon on Amazon.

It is called: ‘Pump Your Own Tires – Crossing the Bridge to Loving Yourself’.and will go on Amazon in about a week.  Here is an excerpt:

“What if I don’t love myself?”

It’s okay if you don’t love yourself. Many people don’t – I didn’t until a few years ago. It took me 50 years to realize that by loving myself, I was honoring my divine creator. Loving myself didn’t turn me into a self-absorbed narcissist – it turned me into someone who saw myself in others.

There is no evidence to support the claim that you can’t love others until you love yourself first. You can in fact love others and not yourself. Many people do. Many people live their entire lives without loving themselves. If you don’t love yourself first, you can still love others – but your love is tainted. Because we all want to be loved, and when you give others more love than you give yourself, you wish that you could have that same amount of love.

You don’t feel happy when other people get more love than you. You feel shortchanged. When you start loving yourself, those intense negative emotions of envy and jealousy fade away. Your heart is able to be truly happy for others when you have more than you need yourself.

People that love themselves are not self-absorbed or arrogant, but secure. Once their needs are met, they have extra love to give to others. Loving yourself doesn’t mean pushing to the front and trampling others. You do not have to seek attention. Self-love brings self-esteem. Narcissists appear to have self-esteem, but are extremely selfish and insecure underneath.

When we are guided by our egos, we constantly see what is wrong and our thoughts reinforce it. We believe we can’t love ourselves until certain conditions are in place.

Ego is conditional. It says: when everything falls into place I will find peace.

Spirit is unconditional. It says: find peace and everything will fall into place.

The place to start loving yourself is here, now.

Cheers to you!!!

Ann Hoy <3

 

 

The Solution to Your Problems is Within You

Solutions are Within You

Solutions are Within You

 

Most of our problems exist in our minds, and are self-created. When we obsess about them, we allow them to rent space in our heads,where they germinate, and spring up in our words and actions. Here are some ways to uproot the weeds of problems before they take over your contentment:

Live in The Present:
It’s not so much the problem, but our thoughts about the problem that hurt us. Everything is fine in the present moment, but if we dwell on the past, or feel anxious about the future, we sow the seeds of unhappiness. When an issue arises, our memory automatically calls up information that is relevant to it, and we see it the same way again, according to Psychology Today. Reset your brain to the present, and describe the issue in a different way, and you will find a new solution.

“Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.”
John F. Kennedy

Maintain a Positive CAN Do outlook:
Problems are small leaks that you can quickly patch and forgive, and return to steering the ship towards your dream life. Focus on what you CAN change in life, and change it. Often it’s when you’re in the shower, or doing something that doesn’t require too much mental activity, and your mind is relaxed, that a brilliant and creative solution comes to you.

Change Your Attitude:

Framing an issue as good or bad depends on your attitude about it. If a problem occurs, instead of reacting emotionally, look for the cause, as that’s where the solution lies. Many problems arise from a misunderstanding on both sides, including yours. Saying things out of emotion can destroy a friendship of many years. Emotions are felt in your body – jealousy shows up in your stomach as a burning sensation; anger makes your head feel hot. Detach from your thoughts, and return to positive energy and respond from love.

Sleep on It:
A problem seems worse if you are in a bad state of mind. If you are tired, or in a low mood, step back, go for a walk in nature, take a nap, or get a good sleep, and respond with care once you feel rested. If you look for the good in a situation, you will find it; and it’s impossible to feel miserable when you focus on your blessings.

A problem may be a blessing in disguise if there is a lesson to learn, or if you learn to work around problems. You may learn that you are taking yourself too seriously. In hindsight, some of your biggest laughs will come from things you once considered as problems.

John Lennon said: “There are no problems, only solutions.”


Seek the Solution:
Seeking a solution attracts a solution to you. You deserve happiness, and solutions, not problems. You are responsible for your happiness, and instead of dwelling on problems in your mind, get out of your mind, and feel the love and forgiveness in your soul. You are bigger than any problem that exists, because problems are temporary, and you can make a habit of identifying with the lasting happiness that is within you, rather than your problems.
Ann.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/paulbrigham/8712854918/”>One Way Stock</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>

Finding, Enjoying and Sharing Your Purpose

Pursue your dreams

Pursue your Dreams

                                            There are two great days in a person’s life –

                                     the day we are born, and the day we discover why.

                                      William Barkley

 

We are born with a purpose in life, and part of our journey is to find out what it is. We find it by looking inside, and listening to the voice that tells us why we are here, and we will no longer need to search for it – it will find us.

 

It will find us when:

We are doing what we enjoy,

And doing what we are good at,

And what empowers us,

Uplifts us,

inspires us,

and makes us feel alive.

Some people don’t pursue what they were born to do – life happens to them; and they get discouraged by it and put their dreams aside, or they put other’s expectations of them first, or seek fulfillment with distractions – overeating, or working too much, but these activities aren’t meaningful so they don’t find lasting fulfillment.

Much has been written about finding your purpose:

Tony Robbins says:  “you have to decide what’s important to you, and put that first, and create a vision for yourself.  He says being too busy means ‘managing your pain’, but the real way out of pain is giving.  That is when your life matters to more than yourself.  He says the best time to give is when you have nothing.  It’s like planting a seed when you have very little left, and something starts to grow.”

“What will put life in perspective is to constantly do something as a ritual, to serve somebody in worse shape than you are; there is no greater way to put perspective in your life. I call it ‘I have no problems day’.   It’s about doing something for someone who is worse off than you.” – TR

The Dalai Lama says:  “the purpose of life is to be happy” and that caring for others has the added benefit of increasing our own wellbeing and bringing us inner peace.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “The crowning fortune of a man (or woman*) is to be born to some pursuit which finds him employment and happiness, whether it be to make baskets, or broadswords, or canals, or statues, or songs.”

Joseph Campbell called it “finding your bliss”.  To fulfill your purpose in life requires persistence on your part.  When you face setbacks, you must have faith in yourself, and not listen to other people tell you that you  cannot do something when you know you can.  Only you know what your purpose is, it comes from inside you, so you are the expert on this one.

Some people recognize their purpose early in life, and a beautiful flame is lit inside them, which fuels their inner peace and purpose.  Their talent continues to develop and expands from helping themselves to helping others.

You are here for a reason

You are here for a reason

When I was young, I dreamed of being a writer and someone told me writing was for middle aged men with a lot of life experience.  I”m glad I didn’t listen to him or I wouldn’t have had articles published, or ran a resume writing business, or worked for a newspaper writing ads and articles, or taught essay writing, or written this blog, which I enjoy.

Following your dreams takes persistence.  Circumstances and people don’t always support you, and every artist creating their path has faced setbacks.  The Beatles pursued their purpose with persistence, despite every record company that they approached at first turning them down.  Once they signed a recording contract, they went on to become one of the best bands of all time.  Likewise, JK Rowling was initially rejected by all the publishing houses she took her Harry Potter books to.  But once a publisher signed her on, those books became one of the best- selling series of books of all time.  Both The Beatles and Joanne Rowling had faith in their ability and persistently pursued their goals.

The moment you decide to take the first step towards your dreams, then take a step to start creating your unique path, you are on your way.  Doors open for you, your fears recede, and your doubts evaporate.   You no longer feel that you don’t have enough talent or time to pursue your dreams, because time will disappear when you are having fun.

We think we are physical beings, and look outside ourselves to find our purpose, but we are actually spiritual beings who can look inside ourselves to find what is right for us, as unique individuals.

Eckhart Tolle says: “awakening to your life’s purpose involves serving yourself and others in some way.  When you use your special talents and gifts to contribute to the world, the power will come through you like a light, that only you know is shining through you, and you will feel great presence with what you are doing and will really enjoy it.”

Eckhart says: “it is not based on desire, or the ego, but it is based on enjoyment” and you are totally present when doing it.

 

*woman added for the purposes of this blog

photo credits: both flickr <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/pictoquotes/9689105659/”>symphony of love</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a>