Pump Your Own Tires – Crossing the Bridge to Loving Yourself

Pump Your Own Tires

3D book cover

*****Thank You to my blog readers for all your support along my writing journey.  Reading my posts and subscribing to my blog gave me the encouragement I needed to realize a long held dream – writing a book. Knowing that you are enjoying the blog posts is important, and I hope you will also enjoy my first book which is coming out soon on Amazon.

It is called: ‘Pump Your Own Tires – Crossing the Bridge to Loving Yourself’.and will go on Amazon in about a week.  Here is an excerpt:

“What if I don’t love myself?”

It’s okay if you don’t love yourself. Many people don’t – I didn’t until a few years ago. It took me 50 years to realize that by loving myself, I was honoring my divine creator. Loving myself didn’t turn me into a self-absorbed narcissist – it turned me into someone who saw myself in others.

There is no evidence to support the claim that you can’t love others until you love yourself first. You can in fact love others and not yourself. Many people do. Many people live their entire lives without loving themselves. If you don’t love yourself first, you can still love others – but your love is tainted. Because we all want to be loved, and when you give others more love than you give yourself, you wish that you could have that same amount of love.

You don’t feel happy when other people get more love than you. You feel shortchanged. When you start loving yourself, those intense negative emotions of envy and jealousy fade away. Your heart is able to be truly happy for others when you have more than you need yourself.

People that love themselves are not self-absorbed or arrogant, but secure. Once their needs are met, they have extra love to give to others. Loving yourself doesn’t mean pushing to the front and trampling others. You do not have to seek attention. Self-love brings self-esteem. Narcissists appear to have self-esteem, but are extremely selfish and insecure underneath.

When we are guided by our egos, we constantly see what is wrong and our thoughts reinforce it. We believe we can’t love ourselves until certain conditions are in place.

Ego is conditional. It says: when everything falls into place I will find peace.

Spirit is unconditional. It says: find peace and everything will fall into place.

The place to start loving yourself is here, now.

Cheers to you!!!

Ann Hoy <3

 

 

How Tony Robbins Made Good Morning America Great Again

On March 23, 2016, this tweet from Tony strikes panic into my heart!

Are You An @TonyRobbins Super-fan and in New York  next Tues? Get Tix to see him live

I am flying from Vancouver to New York the next day, my itinerary is full, and now I want tickets to see Tony live on March 29th!

But wait! I’ve never been to New York! I don’t know my way around, and I am staying in Brooklyn, not Manhattan, and “GMA” sets up before sunrise.

Focus on Where You Want to Go, Not on What You Fear

~ Anthony Robbins

Every day I do something that scares me, so I email Good Morning America for tickets.

“DECIDE!” I can hear Tony say in my mind.

A while back, I wrote down the five people I would most like to meet, and Tony Robbins was one of them. Tony always advises to take massive action and pursue your dreams.

I admire his work because he refused to let his pain define him, turned his life around, and used his knowledge to help so many others, including me and my son.

In the 1990’s I bought his cassette tapes at a library book sale and I wore them out listening to them. By association, I also wore out my youngest son’s tender ears. He has been listening to Tony unleash the power since age 3, during the long trips in my mini-van to visit his Nana. He turned 20 today.

“GMA” replies and asks me why I want to be in the audience. I write that I am a blogger, and my son and I have been Tony super-fans since the 1990’s, and it is my son’s 20th birthday today. They email me two tickets (the maximum)to print off! We are in! I am soooo excited!

But wait! The fine print says we are not guaranteed to get in. I don’t care! Even the chance of getting in is so exciting! I tell da birthday boy he has a chance to see da man himself! He is more excited about seeing Tony than The Lion King on Broadway later that evening.

This son started his own business at age eleven, teaching fourteen year old kids how to play drums. He began negotiating business deals with adults to produce music shows by the age of sixteen. I am convinced his confidence and ability came from all those hours of listening to Tony Robbins on cassette. Tony instilled an entrepreneurial mindset in him. We joke that he was raised by Tony Robbins.

“The only person holding you back is YOU. No more excuses. It’s time to change and take your life to the next level.” Tony Robbins

It feels like Tony is on the 102nd floor view deck of The Empire State Building of self-actualization, extending a hand down to me, on the ground floor, to pull me up to learn how to live my dreams like him.

We arrive in Times Square to scout out GMA’s location a few days ahead of the show so we are prepared.

“The meeting of preparation with opportunity generates the offspring we call luck.” — Tony Robbins

We find a door marked stage door on 44th Street, but there is no Toys ‘R’ Us nearby.

At the Wax Museum, I ask where Toys ‘R’ Us is located and nobody knows, then I ask an employee at The Star Wars Exhibit, who says the store has moved, and there is construction where it used to be. My best guess is that we line up at the stage door across from the construction. I wonder why GMA hasn’t updated their tickets.

To look sharp for the show, I buy pants and a top at The Loft in Times Square and new make-up at Sephora. I will wear the sweater and shoes I have in my suitcase, and my son will wear the clothes in his luggage.

On March 29, we wake up at 4 am, shower, and catch the subway train to Times Square. We arrive at 6:30 am and are relieved to find a small line-up outside the stage door. Last check in for the show is 7:15 am. Nobody greets us, or checks us in, or asks to see our tickets or passports. We stand in line for two hours until 8:30 am.

In the shade of the high rises, it was 46 degrees Fahrenheit, but it was freezing in the narrow wind chill tunnel. My hands turn white from the cold. I push past the cold and imagine Tony immersing himself in freezing cold water. His morning ritual is to plunge into a cool 57-degree Fahrenheit pool of water upon waking. But I am dreaming of going to a Tony Robbins firewalk instead.

After an hour or so, the production assistant, I think her name is Julie, announces that anyone who received a special email from her can step to the side. I hear “What the?!” muffled in the crowd, as she ushers the VIPs into the studio.

Julie comes back out and says they are reducing the filming space and only half of those with tickets in line will get in. “If anyone wants to leave now, they can” she says. Her blasé tone, prompts the guy behind me to call out: “Welcome to New York!” He was wearing a long wool coat and ear muffs. My son and I name him the heckler. He told us he was from New York. Some people leave the line at this point.

The Assistant comes back out about 20 minutes later and says 20 people of the 40 who remain in line will get in, and we are mid-line. She leaves us dangling, however, when she says she might take the first 20 people in line or she may do a draw, she hasn’t decided. What??? This is a fast paced New York live television production where snap decisions are made faster than a ball can drop in Times Square. I imagine Tony in his deep voice, gone hoarse from talking, telling her to “Decide!” We take a leap of faith and stay.

A security guard with a K9 sniffer dog walks past the line and asks us to open our purses and empty the contents of our pockets into our hands. The dog sniffs all of us and finds nothing.

Another twenty minutes pass, and a black SUV pulls up, and David Hasselhoff steps out! The line erupts into cheers and my son takes a selfie with “The Hoff.” David signs autographs, chats to the crowd, and poses for photos. He is super nice, tanned and flashes a big white smile. My son will gloat later about seeing The Baywatch star to the four people back at our apartment in Brooklyn who are asleep.

Then Geraldo Rivera’s black SUV drives by, and he waves at us from the passenger’s seat! I watched him so many times on the show 20/20! My son doesn’t know who he is. He was on GMA talking about getting ousted from Dancing With the Stars. My adrenaline is pumping so fast I want to dance, but like Bob Dylan’s Tamborine Man: my toes too numb to step.

Then Tony Robbins steps out of a silver SUV, and criss-crosses the sidewalk towards us. Some Wall Street types brush him off their shoulders as if he is a pest. Tony is unfazed. He seems humbled by the little scream that erupts from the line-up. He smiles warmly, and bows his head almost bashfully. Then all 6 foot 7 inches of him confidently enters the studio wearing a sharp blue suit. No time for a selfie with him, but great to see him.

Tony’s humble presence and warm smile deliver up the essence of why he does what he does — he cares about the people he helps. The little guys like us, braving the cold, leaving home in the dark to stand on the sidewalk to see him. Helping people fires up his soul more than fire walking. I saw it all on his face. He loves the people in line with all his heart. And, they love him back ten times more.

I am so happy we came! We have already seen Tony and the show is going to be great!

ALL LOVE TONY

I am showing my bloodless fingers to my son, when the heckler gives me a hand warmer. He is friendly and engaging, and asks us to play Tony Robbins trivia.

His first question is: “what is Tony’s wife’s name?” “Sage!” I say, and then share my own trivia that she is from Langley, BC, next to Cloverdale, where we live.

Then the heckler answers that Tony’s step dad was a semi-professional baseball player. In a New York nano second, my excitement about the show turns to a sinking feeling in my stomach. I remember the quote: “never mistake an at-bat for a hit.” We are only “at bat” to see Tony on the show, no guarantees.

I can’t put a numb finger on it, but something is wrong. GMA’s ratings are down this year, and I see the desperation from ratings pressure in Julie’s eyes. I Google GMA’s target audience, and it is measured by AGE. It is age 25–54, much younger than what I suspect is their actual audience of 45–65 yrs old. Their actual audience is nostalgic for the good old GMA days when they got their children up for school, and sat them down to eat a bowl of Fruit Loops in front of the TV to watch GMA.

Fox News Reports:

“Television’s top morning show is in its first prolonged slump since overtaking NBC’s “Today” in popularity three years ago. “GMA” is losing viewers, most rapidly among a younger demographic that advertisers eagerly seek, where NBC has wrested back the lead from its rival.”

They have 3 great guests on the show today, all baby boomers. Tony is 57, The Hoff is 63, and Geraldo is 72. The Production Assistant is 30 ish, and she picked a studio audience aged 35–40 years old. No one in the studio audience is even as old as the average age of the guests.

25–35 year old millennials watch their phones more than their televisions. The generation that watched GMA since 1975, is aging faster than their marketers know. They are bucking the headwind of the aging baby boomers in search of younger fans. Their actual fans are now grandparents who are retiring, and tuning back in to the show more regularly.

The Assistant comes out again: “I’m picking some really CALM people to go in,” she says.

I feel like my frozen hands were slapped with a wooden stick. We are all calm, we have been sedated by the cold. She chooses 20 people between 30 and 40 years old — ten from in front of us, then she passes right by us, and picks another ten from behind us, including the heckler, and a lady who recently cut in line beside us from the back of the line. They all go into the studio.

Then in a glacial tone the Assistant says: “The rest of you don’t get in. That’s it!”

I observe that GMA issued 80 tickets for 40 spots, picked 20 local media/bloggers, then cherry picked from the line-up.

I feel like a giant ice sculpture of a fist has punched me in the face. It stings doubly as a parent, because it is a one two punch, one for my son and one for me.

My son is an adult, but a mother’s love doesn’t age.

His disappointment amplifies mine. I am supposed to bandage his wounds, not salt them, especially for his birthday! I am sorry for getting his hopes up to see Tony on the show, and I hope he doesn’t get bronchitis from exposure to the unrelenting cold.

Then I imagine what Tony would say to us if he were walking beside the line:

“Give me a break — You’re not in Somalia — Get over it already!”

I scramble for something to be grateful for, to instantly change my emotions.

“We saw Tony!” I say.

“Seeing ‘The Hoff’ was a total bonus for me,” my son says.

“We learned how to do a live TV show,” I say.

Then my son speaks the truth, as always: “we learned how NOT to do a live tv show”, he says.

Then we bust our guts laughing!

But our laughter is silenced by loud shouting ahead in the line-up. A couple in their 60’s who were first place in line, didn’t take Julie’s news delivered coldly as well as we did.

They are shouting at her in British accents: “We’ve been standing here since 6 am!” said the lady.

“We were the first in line! And you pick people from the back of the line!!!?” she said loudly.

Julie’s face started turning as red as the rest of ours. I felt bad for her. She was only doing her job, the way she has always done it, and getting the same results and not understanding why. GMA wants to improve their ratings, but they are “too busy sawing to sharpen the saw” as Steven Covey would say.

I feel worse for the British people than I do for anyone, including my son or myself. They are older than us, colder than us, and have stood outside longerthan us. As Tony says: “pick someone who is ten times worse off than you and help them.” I wonder how I can help them. The couple are part of GMA’s global audience, and Tony’s global audience. The show airs in Canada, so it likely airs in Britain too. They aren’t GMA’s target audience, they are theiractual audience. This is too weird.

New York is not only an American city, it is a global city, where 171 languages are spoken. The guests on GMA are global stars. Back in 1984, when I was in Ireland, I bought a ‘Knight Rider’ car for my young nephew in Ireland who was a huge fan of the show ‘Knight Rider’ (starring David Hasselhoff).

Nobody cares about your little problem in the BIG APPLE. Everyone is moving forward. Stop on the sidewalk to salt your wounds and you will get trampled.

But we learned in kindergarten how to treat people better than this.

A girl on The Brooklyn Bridge yesterday was wearing a donut t-shirt that said:

I Donut Care

We traveled 3800 miles from Canada, and the Brits traveled further, and lined up in the dark, but they donut care that we braved the wind and didn’t get in.

To Be #1 You Gotta Care

I learned how resilient my son is. He waved me over to the front window of the studio. We are stunned that we can see the show being filmed from the front window in Times Square.

Tony Robbins and David Hasselhoff are being interviewed 20 feet in front of us. I hear Tony say:

“I have failed a million times, but it’s not failure if you ask — what can I learn from this experience?”

On the subway back to the Airbnb, we discuss what we learned from the experience. We think of ways GMA could improve:

  • They could omit the Toys ‘R’ Us reference from their tickets.
  • If they ask people to arrive early and line up, they shouldn’t surprise them by picking people from the back of the line. The people at the back aren’t expecting to get in, the people at the front are.
  • Pick the audience members once the deadline to line up has passed. Don’t drag out the suspense for two hours. It isn’t wise to release frustrated customers into the world to tell their friends about their bad experience.
  • This is show business, not the justice system, and life isn’t always fair, but in the race to the top, GMA is missing out on marketing opportunities. They could connect with their fans and the line-up on social media. Tweeting Tony trivia would have equaled ratings gold. They could have held a draw for Tony’s new book ‘Money-Master The Game’(see link here:http://goo.gl/LI1fTF), or handed out swag bags to be photographed for Instagram, or offered cups of coffee with a GMA logo on them.

As Seth Godin says: “your best customer is your best marketer.” He also says: “People don’t like surprises…if you give them your word, keep it.”

I wonder what Tony would say to us about the experience?

I think he would chunk it down into parts. We took action and were prepared. We planned our trip from Brooklyn and arrived early. We dressed as sharply as we could from a suitcase, and we didn’t give up.

We did our best, and found something to be grateful for and learned something.

We saw Times Square at dawn.

My son got a picture of David Hasselhoff. I saw Geraldo Rivera.

We both saw Tony Robbins up close and he smiled at us.

We stuck it out despite the odds. We committed, and we learned something about ourselves.

And as always, my son got an education from this Tony experience. He dreams of one day being interviewed by a show like GMA as a music producer. The experience crystallized for him: the goal is not to line up outside the arena, but to work so hard that people line up outside the arena to see you. “Well said, Tony Jr.”

My son and I have a great amount of respect for those who are in the arena — whatever their arena is. They have faced a million disappointing experiences, and they keep rising higher and higher above them, and set a better example.

I was proud to be part of the line-up to show Tony our gratitude. He has given so much of himself to so many for so many years, that showing up, and showing our appreciation is the least we could do to thank him. We are the reason he does what he does.

Tony says to find someone worse off than you and help them. To honor that, I dedicate this story to the couple who were first place in line. I hope it makes them feel better, whoever and wherever they are.

They were true Tony fans. Tony says: “you get what you tolerate,” and they refused to tolerate what happened in line. They bravely expressed what twenty other people were feeling, but didn’t express. “If you want something better than what you are getting, you have to raise your standards,” says Tony.

Tony’s fans were exactly what GMA needed. He has taught his fans to expect something better, and to take massive action to make the change. The Brit’s actions may lead to changes in the way they treat their future line-ups. If Good Morning America can put down the saw for long enough to listen.

8
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    AnnHoy

    Welcome to my blog annhoy.com — #loveyourself. Writer for The Writing Cooperative and BeYourself on Medium.com

  • Your Problems Are But A Drop Of Water In The SEA Of Life

    Your problems are but a drop of water

                                                                                                                                                          Roberto Nixon / Unsplash

    Have you noticed that when you have a problem people will sympathize with you initially, but soon they’re back to the daily grind, and you lose that support that you so desperately seek from them? It is because they have their own equal and opposite problems. To dwell on your problem, means they might drop the ball on their problem, in this continuous juggling game of life, and they have to keep their boat afloat.

    To wallow in your misery along with you is not love. It anchors you to your problem. They care about you, and they want you to pull yourself out of your problem, because you are the only one who can pull yourself out. Others can help, but only you can do it. Maybe all you need to do is change your perspective. Maybe your so-called problem is the way you are seeing things. Your problem may turn out to be a blessing. Maybe it’s time for you to “Sea” Life’s Beauty.

    Being happy is a choice. It is choosing to think positive thoughts from the second you open your eyes in the morning, no matter what your circumstances are. Yes, a choice. It is your attitude about your circumstances that matters. Is yours an attitude of gratitude? I found a book in the “discard” bin in the public library 20 years ago. I was a little low on confidence at the time, so I took it home, and it was so fascinating that I’ve read it 100 times over the years and it changed my life. It is ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ by Norman Vincent Peale. It said that gaining faith in yourself is like a skill that you can practice until you get it right.

     

    The book has a similar philosophy to the law of attraction. If your thoughts are positive, you attract positive energy back, so you might as well make it positive, because the alternative is worse. Your thoughts about what is good or bad are not always based on reality, but on your perception. The good news is, you can change your perception in a minute. Sometimes all it takes is to re-frame your thoughts and you will see your situation entirely differently, and you will see an abundance of good and opportunity instead of a shortfall. Go ahead and Soak Up Positive Energy.

    A while back, my finances were a worry. I had a lot of credit card debt, but on paper, I owned 50 percent of an expensive property. I sold the property, bought a home with suites and lived in one of the suites, which was much smaller than the big house I had been living in. By downsizing, I was able to pay off my credit card, put some cash in the bank, and gain rental revenue to help pay my mortgage. I had the same amount of money as I did before the move, but my perspective changed. Instead of seeing a sea of red, I saw a stream of cash.

    I recently wrote a post about living well, and a reader asked me to explain what living well meant to me. Here is a link to it: https://goo.gl/Km7l3t, What living well means to you is likely quite different from what it means to me. Please share what living well means to you, and here is my list:

    Wisdom Of The Ocean Listicle: Living Well

    1. Living well is appreciating what you have and attracting abundance.Complaining about what you lack is the law of lack, and it attracts more lack. This keeps you in the bilges, always bailing out the dirty water from the ship instead of sailing smoothly on by.

    2. Living in the present is living well. This sounds obvious, but most people are distracted by regrets about the past that they can’t change, or worrying that something dreadful will happen in the future, that never actually happens. They are thinking about what they are going to say next in their conversations instead of listening to what people are saying to them, or romancing with their cell phones while sitting next to the person they love most in the entire world, instead of telling them they love them. Now is the only time you have to embrace life. Why is that the hardest thing to do? Your sailboat has it’s own pace. Don’t rush things with an engine. Go With The Flow and don’t get ahead of, or behind your own sailboat.

    3. Living well is loving the voyage. Giving what you can to others after you have satisfied your own needs, and accepting their offerings to you and honoring the giver in them is love. Come Out of Your Shell and show love.

    4. It is beautiful to be who you are and love who you are. Living well is cherishing the divine creation you are, and not measuring your worth based on your gender, age, weight, looks or bank account. Self-confidence attracts more self-confidence. To be proud of who you are is honoring your divine nature, which we all have inside of us. Be Shore of Yourself

    5. Nurturing your health with mind, body and soul is Living Well. Healthy food and exercise are better than medicine from the pharmacy for your body. Lifelong learning by reading is medicine for the mind. Positive expansive thoughts about your purpose in life, and aligning your actions with your positive thoughts is medicine for your soul. Don’t Get Tide Down with a poor lifestyle

    6. Living well means seeking your own approval over the approval of others. If they approve, awesome, if not, don’t sweat it. Do what you know is right for you. Likewise, don’t judge others when they do what’s right for them. Spend time doing what you love, as in Do What Floats Your Boat.

    7. Oh yeah, and don’t be crabby – and take time to coast!

    • sources — Wisdom From The Ocean
    • Thanks for reading. Shout out to Michele Trainer for suggestion
    • Thanks for collaborating Anna Henricson
    • Have a beautiful day! If you liked it please hit the heart button and recommend it.
    • Please comment on what living well means to you.
    • AHoy!

    Do You Want to Be a Hero? Live WELL

    Heroes Live Well

    Lea Dubedout photo  – Unsplash

    When you live in the past you live badly.

    Your past is like a condensed movie of your life that flashes by the side of the highway as you speed by; the years passing by faster than street lights.

    In the re-run of your life, you are embarrassed by your mistakes, and want to edit those scenes out, but you are an evolving organism, and learning hard lessons made you stronger.

    Your shame made you aware, and your awareness made you forgive yourself and move forward, then you forgive other evolving organisms for their mistakes.

    Looking back shows how far you have traveled on your journey. You have been altered by your experiences have altered you in the eternal classroom of life.

    In the space-time continuum, your pit stop on earth can be free from regrets if you decide to search for ways to live WELL.

    You were put on earth to be a hero. To reach your true potential. To become someone you admire.

    To work hard doing what you love, maintain your body, expand your mind, and nurture your soul with positive thoughts and gratitude.

    Honoring yourself transforms you into a tiny hero.

    When you express yourself you light a tiny candle and your light spreads.

    It illuminates the path of your future.

    Death inches closer each day, kindling your urgency to live well – to love lots, and to value your life.

    You don’t fear death when you are fully immersed in life.

    You raise your standards, and perform brave deeds and noble acts.

    Your plot has new twists. You adopt a dog. He has hero worship in his eyes for you. You feel good.

    You show compassion to a person who needs some. You feel good.

    Your struggle with life is gone when you do what feels good, and connect to others.

    You remove your 3-D glasses and see things as they are. The world is beautifully imperfect.

    You understand that everything happens for a reason. Chance occurrences benefit you.

    You wouldn’t change your journey because it brings you to the movie of your future.

    When your journey has ends you are a full grown hero. Mission complete.

    When you love and live well, you die happy!

    The last scene of your life is not a flashback, but a foreshadowing of your next journey. Your perspective has changed. Your body will dissolve, but your spirit will remain.

    You are drawn to the warmth and peace of the ambient light from the screen. Love is everywhere. The music fades to a humming chorus and transitions you to a new time zone.

    The credits roll. It’s a happy ending. You look forward to the after party!

  • Go to the profile of AnnHoy

    AnnHoy

    Welcome! I write about expanding your life on my blog annhoy.com  — #loveyourself, #positivethinking, #optimizingyourself, and #wellbeing are recurring themes.

  • Most popular Medium stories tagged Love
    • AnnHoy

    The Teething of Writers

    Teething of Writers

    Joanna Kosinska photo/ Unsplash

    What would happen if we quit every time it was hard to learn a skill?

    Like writing. When my writing is stuck, I feel frozen.

    If at first I don’t write something good, I try,try, again, like a masochist who keeps going to the dentist for the pain.

    I stress out that my writing won’t resonate with anyone, and throw crumpled papers on the floor.

    My dentist’s receptionist says she enjoys reading my blog, so does the hygienist; I don’t want to clean other people’s teeth — but if they love to do it, that’s the coolest job in the world.

    As babies we suffer through the agonizing process of teething, until swollen gums and screams are replaced by toothy smiles. As we grow, those teeth become loose, and make way for bigger, stronger ones. Similar to the process of becoming a writer.

    You must endure the pain of doing bad writing in order to get better.

    Start somewhere. Start anywhere. Start where you are, with what you have.

    That’s how you learn what works and what doesn’t.

    Don’t pass judgement.

    Be fearless.

    Miles Davis said:

    “Do not fear mistakes, there are none.”

    Keep writing even if nobody likes what you write. Even if YOU don’t like what you write. Don’t give up.

    Don’t lie in bed worrying that your creativity is gone. That will leave holes in you like the ones left by your wisdom teeth.

    Don’t wait for a muse to inspire you. The tooth fairy for adults is busy…simply start writing!

    Writing isn’t supposed to be perfect, or forced.

    If you try to force your writing, it will knock your teeth out.

    “Great works are not performed by strength, but by perseverance.”

    – Samuel Johnson

    You can be boring, discouraged, and full of writer’s envy, but hold on to your vision to write anyways.

    Your self-critic accuses you of having nothing interesting to write and asks: “Who do you think you are?”

    You don’t have to be the greatest writer that ever lived to write something.

    At the moment the writing struggle starts to wear you out, you develop a resiliency that renews you, and inspiration does the writing for you. Then you are fit for the next writing challenge.

    Bad times fade. Take a snow day to read a book and get unstuck.

    You gain momentum to get you back to stardust and wonder.

    It’s like finally finding your pen in the snow. Bringing it inside warms the ink. You draw a scribble to test it, and the melted ink oozes freely.

    A voice says: “change that, copy someone you admire, use your voice, even if it is immature, or rusty, or shy. Right now. Where you are.”

    After all, Nobody else has ever written it quite like You, nor ever will.

    Published on Medium.com

    Thank You Anna Henricson!

    Twitter @AnnHoyBlog

    Careful! Your Resolutions May Straighten Out Your Priorities

    2016 resolutions

    photopin creative commons

    Dear Friends:

    You may find that being beautiful, abundant, loving, friendly, healthy, fit, secure, peaceful, smart, kind, sober, rich, spiritual, sociable, intelligent, motivated, rested, relaxed, creative, and successful is possible.

    You may find someone who supports your positive changes.

    You may find that healthy habits feel better than unhealthy ones.

    You may find that habits like eating, smoking, drinking, and gambling to excess aren’t as fun as being in charge of your actions.

    You may find that feeling good is the reward.

    “The reward of a thing well done, is to have done it.” Seneca

    So Do it now.

    Today is all you have.

    One step today, another one tomorrow, and another the next day, will elevate your self-respect and make you feel good.

    You reward yourself.

    Good luck!

    Bye for now, I’m going to the gym with my workout buddy!

    Leave a comment about what step you are taking now to make 2016 THE BEST.

    Love Ann.

    The Miracle of Reiki

    Miracle of Reiki

    Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh – Photopin

     

    I have a low-grade pain on my side, that gnaws at me like the drops of water that eventually erode a mountain.

    Most of us have pain, be it physical, mental, or both.

    We can’t turn down the volume on pain, so we are of one of two camps:

    1. We never tell anyone about it.
    2. We give everyone we meet the full run down.

    I handle the pain on my left side by sleeping on my right side.

    It has never stopped me from doing anything, and I try to ignore it.

    But during my first Reiki session, it would no longer be ignored.

    A blonde woman named Sarah was sitting by the window in the room, her hair and fair complexion glowing in the soft winter sun that flooded in.

    She asked me to lie on the table, and covered me with a plush fleece blanket.

    In a soft voice, she asked if I had any pain. I pointed to my side.

    She pulled up a chair and gently placed her small translucent hand on the nucleus of my pain.

    Her fingers felt like stones that were warmed on a fire.

    I felt the healing energy of her hands, like warm lava on my side.

    She said the inflammation I had would have doubled some people over.

    “Run.”

    “Don’t Walk”.

    “To buy Turmeric”, she said.

    The old dormant inflammation began to rage like a hot air balloon that was finally able to let out a guttural scream.

    In the safe spiritual room, we talked about the treatments for my endometriosis, and the alternative – to do nothing.

    I felt her hand dispersing heat throughout my body now, and had to remove the furry blanket.

    Once the session was complete, she advised me to stand up slowly to gain my balance.

    I felt light.

    And pain free.

    I KNOW!

    I could hardly believe it myself.

    The exhausting thief of my energy was gone. It was comfortable being ignored, but couldn’t stand the compassion.

    Then I ran out to buy some turmeric.

    

     Previously published on Medium.com
    3

    Kids Like it When Something Goes Wrong

    Kids like it when something goes wrong

    ‘Balloons’ by Photopin

    There was no need to hire a clown for my seventh birthday.

    Six girlfriends and I piled into my Dad’s huge 1960 Chevy station wagon to drive to the skating rink for my party.

    But his car wouldn’t start, so he got out and pushed it.

    But he slipped and fell in the mud.

    When he finally managed to stand up, he looked like he had been decorated with chocolate icing, which made us giggle uncontrollably.

    He, however, didn’t find it as funny, and went into the house.

    Then two shiny yellow taxis pulled up to the rescue. My friends had never been in a cab before, and their excitement made it the most memorable birthday party ever!

    Later that day, my Dad said: “kids like it when something goes wrong, it’s more fun.”

    That stuck with me, and often it is more fun when the unexpected occurs.

    It often sets me on a better path.

    The fight or flight mode when something goes wrong makes me use my creative energy to take action instead of overthinking the situation.

    You can’t control the wind but you can adjust your sails

    When the trains aren’t running or the car won’t make it up the hill in the snow, it changes my routine, and also changes my outlook.

    It makes me appreciate how often things do run smoothly.

    As I wait in anticipation for the unexpected to happen again.

    Have you ever had more fun when things went wrong?

    Stop Following the Herd and Lead

    Stop following the herd

    Malala – photo by Photopin

    It only takes one person to stop following the herd to change the whole world.

    Like a schoolgirl in Pakistan.

    Malala Yousefzai used her intellect to fight for a girl’s right to an education.

    She was not afraid of anyone, because going to school was not a crime.

    Then the Taliban tried to assassinate her and shot her in the face.

    Intimidation did not stop her. It had the opposite effect.

    It inspired her fight harder for girls to have an education.

    After many surgeries in America, she recovered.

    The whole world began to notice the bravery of the teenage girl.

    She won The Nobel Peace Prize.

    She used her power of reasoning to ask WHY we do things the way we do.

    Intellectuals don’t follow the herd, they lead it.

    The ability to reason is what distinguishes us from other living creatures.

    The herd instinct isn’t in Malala.

    She doesn’t guard the status quo, she uses her intellect and questions it.

    All art and music and social development stem from our power to reason, or our intellect.

    When we go beyond instinctual behavior, our desires turn into goals that with benefits beyond ourselves.

    Then we gain understanding and co-operate with others to reach the goal.

    In Sanskrit ‘Vedanta’ means an “absolute knowledge”, which includes experience and karma.

    Life is a series of experiences.

    Our badge of recognition that we are alive is the action that we take.

    If our actions or karma are to heal the world, they return benefits to us; if they are to harm the world, they return consequences.

    Instead of blindly accepting our reality, we can view it with critical eyes, and change it.

    Like Malala.

    She knows that acting the same way as everyone around her and expecting a different result doesn’t solve herd problems.

    Where Do You Go To Get Your Answers?

    The Thinker - Photo pin creative commons

    The Thinker – Photo pin creative commons

    My mind is a noisy place, where my worries and doubts compete for my attention like auctioneers.

    But I have an unfair advantage.

    Where the noise stops.

    An old soft chair.

    When I curl up in it for ten minutes in peace, the static in my mind disappears, and I feel better.

    “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” — Plutarch

    I inhale, aware that the air flowing through my body is shared with everyone on earth. Exhaling, my muscles relax — shoulders, spine, knees and toes feel softer. I detox from negative thoughts.

    My inner voice softly speaks to me, telling me I have control over myself, and I can choose to be happy no matter what my circumstances are.

    “Wisdom doesn’t come from speaking…It comes from listening.” Tao Te Ching

    I hear that I have infinite worth.

    I melt into the soft chair, like a glowing candle of pure radiant loving light. I am free from distractions, and free from fear. I am a success.

    I am newborn with source energy, and am strong enough to take on anything.

    I am no better or less than anyone. We are all divine love.

    I feel thankful for everyone on my journey, and love for myself.

    Sitting in the chair clarifies my priorities in life.

    Suddenly I know what to do, confident that my actions when I leave the chair will be right, and will come from a place of love.

    Whenever I begin to feel disconnected, my chair draws me back so I can replace my racing thoughts with simplicity, patience and compassion.

    Refreshing my mind and body helps me return to bliss.

    I love who I am becoming with the wisdom in my soft chair.

    Where Do You Go To Get Your Answers?

    This story appeared on Medium.com/

    How Empathy Flew Home to Heal Herself

    Empathy Heals

    Photo Credit: Blue Pansy – photopin creative commons

    With empathy, as in life, what goes around comes around.

    The Facebook quiz revealed that I am an empath.

    I can’t argue with the esteemed researchers at Facebook.

    Empaths can ~

    1. Sense the emotions of others and can experience their pain and joy.

    2. Have double vision to see the world through their eyes and understand it through someone else’s.

    3. Experience someone else’s happiness as if it were our own and feel compassion for their sadness which makes their own problems seem insignificant.

    4. Imagine what it is like to be someone else.

    Each of us makes multiple empathetic decisions a day.

    We let someone buying one item in the supermarket line-up go ahead of us. We let a taxi cut in front of us in traffic because he is on the clock to earn his pay.

    Empaths show others their worth which in turn enhances their worth and builds relationships.

    They feel empathy for people like artists whom we have never met.

    I have never been to The Guggenheim Museum. But I have heard that Frank Lloyd Wright designed the building so the art on the walls look different at various times of the day as the light from the windows changes.

    I imagine the place would fill my senses, and make me grateful for my own existence.

    When Rihanna sings the song “Stay” she sings to my soul, similar to the author of a book who expresses my own attitudes exactly.

    Artists feel empathy for us.

    Empathy is a smart, beautiful, social butterfly roosting with its’ peers and brightening their world, suspending self-interest by expressing interest in them.

    My empathy acrostic:

    E — Ego put aside

    M — Meditation connects you to yourself and all beings

    P — Put yourself in another person’s shoes

    A — Always be open minded

    T — Think how you would feel if it was you

    H — Helping people

    Y — Your empathy increases with reading and relating.

    The best thing about empathy?

    Understanding someone else’s feelings, helps you better know your own

    If you aren’t able to vicariously experience another’s feelings or thoughts, your imagination can take you there. You will never know exactly how someone else feels, but by imagining how you would feel in their situation brings you closer.

    I imagine I would feel cold, scared, and unloved if I were homeless. When I buy a coffee for the man sitting on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop, I am also buying him a cup of care. The look in his eyes when he grips the hot beverage in his dirty, weathered hands shows me that.

    It could easily be me sitting on the sidewalk if my circumstances were different, and I would want someone to feel empathy for me.

    When you are in pain, it is hard to feel empathy for others.

    First you need to heal yourself.

    The most important person to feel empathy for is YOU.

    Then you will find your wings.

    And your beautiful colors will be altered in the changing light of the day.

    photo credit: Blue Pansy /photopin creativecommons

    Previously published on Medium – all rights belong to Ann Hoy