You may have read other tips about improving your relationships, but more than likely they haven’t even scratched the surface of how to improve them. These aren’t superficial tips about getting people to like you on the surface. This list goes deeper inside yourself to better your relationships. I spent the past week studying relationships and learning how to optimize them by looking to myself for the answers. It wasn’t easy to try and change the way I think about my relationships, in fact, it was exhausting. I learned that when I make judgments about what people say and do, I may be misinterpreting them, and to stop judging them and give them the benefit of the doubt is necessary.
See the Best in Others
1. See the Best in Yourself
To see the best in others, you have to uncover the goodness in yourself. People are like a mirror reflecting back to us, and goodness attracts goodness. To paraphrase Wayne Dyer – other people’s behavior belongs to them, it is your choice how to relate to them.
2. Care About others
When you care about people, you bring out their good qualities, and feel connected to them, even if you haven’t met them. I recently read J.K. Rowling’s book for adults called “Casual Vacancy” and I admired her writing as I read each page. I also admire her for starting a charity for abused children, which is a main theme in the book. This connected me with her writing, and helped me enjoy her book.
3. Praise and Compliment Others
It takes understanding to refrain from judging others. But praising and complimenting what they do right makes them feel good and inspires them to change. It also increases our self- love when we stop judging ourselves.
4. It’s a Conscious Choice to Always Look For the Best in Others.
It is a choice to see the best in others. I have been giving more weight to the positive thoughts about people than the negative ones. It’s not easy, because old patterns of thinking become entrenched. I want to make a habit of seeing the best in others, and changing the way I relate to them is the best way to do it.
For instance, my son forgot to take out the garbage the other day, but instead of nagging him, I felt grateful that he took Rocko out to the bathroom at 1am, and allowed me to stay in bed. My good feelings about my son made me forget about taking out the garbage.
As Wayne Dyer says: “How you choose to interpret people and your relationships makes a huge Difference”
5. Let Go Of the Negative Shared Past With People
Sometimes we decide to walk away from certain people because involvement with them is too painful. But it’s even difficult to see the good in people that we spend a lot of time with. As is often pointed out, judging people says more about you than them. We can choose to let go of the negative feelings from the past, and start fresh, with a more positive interpretation of them today, but we have to work at it.
By accepting people as they are in the present moment, and detaching from the past, we can see their innate goodness. Like us, they are a field of energy that is constantly changing and evolving.
Only by loving ourselves, can we extend encouragement to others. Believing in the good in others makes us a better person who is conscious of the possibility of seeing the good in everyone, and creating oneness, which is love.
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/pierofix/4472991886/”>pierofix</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>